Death to Ms. VAL-entine

A white shiny casket presents a butterscotch tinted female figure while somber chapel music plays. She lays at peace while the waves of her chestnut colored hair flow past her shoulders almost endlessly. Her Husband, Troy and best friend, Olivia stand nearby observing the lifeless shell that used to be Val.

“I can’t believe this is real,” Olivia whispers to Troy.

“Me either,” he replies. “I miss her so much,” he chokes on a sob and cups his hand over his mouth.

Inaudible, Val’s agonized soul explodes like a grenade, rattling through her bombshell frame.

WHAT  the FUCK  happened HERE?! I’m not supposed to be dead right now! I’m supposed to be burying Troy right now and living happily ever after – dating boy toys and going on shopping sprees. Arrrggghhh!

I’m too gorgeous to die….and who the fuck asked for daisies! Troy knows I only prefer red roses. Hmmph his cheap ass probably tried to save money. Even in my death he’s penny-pinching. He probably ordered carnations, but Olivia made him spend the extra few dollars…Liv…hmmm, my fave mechanic turned bestie always looks out for me. As for Troy,  I …bet…he… asked one of his boys to drive us all to the burial site in his old clunker Expedition. I can’t even die as the princess I’ve always been. Wahh!

Val’s body permanently rests,  but her soul is sleepless and rationalizing.

I don’t get it. How did my plan with Olivia fail?

Val reflects on what lead her to this rigor…mortis.

“So, tomorrow night,” Val whispers on the phone “I’ll go to do my usual grocery store trip around 7:30.”

“…and I will call the house telling Troy there’s been an accident and for him to come right away,” Olivia adds in.

“Yes, but make sure to stop by as soon as it gets dark to cut the brake line on the BMW, the black car” Val instructs.

I’m sure Olivia did it correctly.

Troy and Liv, admire in a daze on the dearly departed Val.

“I miss my wife so much,” Troy whimpers.

He turns, and bends at his waist towards Olivia. She quickly reaches up towards his shoulders to embrace him.

“Do you know what happened to her?” Olivia asks in a low murmur.

“Something about her brakes in her white Mercedes gave out,” Troy whispers back with a confused frown.

“…and your car is okay. Right?” she asks.

“No problems,” He blurts in between his whimpers.

“Oh,” she replies in a sullen tone.

Olivia continues her squeeze on Troy and gazes up to the  sunlight showing through the stained glass window. It spotlights onto the casket as Olivia’s eyes glisten in a bright beam, and her  frown turns to a delightedly sly grin. Val’s demise is Olivia’s prize.

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Oblivious

A  coffee-brown haired femme sits cross-legged on her navy blue Egyptian cotton dressed king bed. Her coral gel manicured fingers hold her smart phone to her right ear. Her head tilts back  on the tan colored tufted headboard behind her. She gleefully chats with her supportive mother.

“This romantic weekend away for Christmas was ALL his idea…” she says then pauses to listen to her mother’s reply.

Her eyes stare into the ceiling in a dreamy daze while listening on the call.

“YES! I can tell mom… ” she says reassuringly.  “My ring is coming. I always knew he was the one,” she sighs in relief.

The pleasant ping of another call chimes through.

“Speaking of…” cutting off her mother’s sentence.

“…he’s on the other line. Call you later mom. Love you,” she says before switching lines to answer the other call.

“Hey” his voice says in a rushed monotone.

“HI baaa…” she gleams until she she is cut off.

“How are you?,” he abruptly ends her sentence.

I’m Great!…but…uhh…Soooo…when should I be ready for our weekend away?” her excitement divulges.

“well uhm… That’s what I was calling to say…” he slowly states.

Her pink glossed smile turns to a frown.

“That may not be happening,” he spews out.

Her heart hammers through her chest to release from its agony.

“…but you promised!…especially since you didn’t even get to meet my family on Thanksgiving,” she pleas.

“I know. I know,” he says.

“I have another surprise for you though… N-New Y-Year’s,  N-New Year’s Eve is going to be great for us!” He delivers in an upbeat stutter.

“Ohhhhh,” an exhausted sigh releases from her mouth. “So, I have to wait another month to be with you?”

Her eyes squint and scan the room while searching her thoughts.

“Listen, don’t be upset. I just have a lot with work and my mom,” he insists.

“This is not a real relationship!” her voice raises. “I haven’t even met your friends or family…”

“YOU WILL!” he yells.

“You will baby…soon,” his voice lowers to calm the brewing storm.

She hears the creaking of a door squeak  open then closed in the distance behind him.

“Hi honey!…the business trip got cancelled,” a mature womanly voice announces after her entrance into the room he’s seated in.

The sound of steady high heel taps get louder as they near him.

“Hi baby!,” he replies to this mysterious figure followed by the smack of a lip to lip kiss.

“Umm…hello?,” she says confused and almost speechless by the realization.

“Oh yea, so, Rob I’ll call you later. My fiance just got home,” his cheerful voice declares before ending the call.

“Wait! What?! ROB!…are you kidding asshole?” rolls off her tongue.

The call ends before the last of her words are audible.

“I don’t believe this SHIT!” she pouts while eyeing her pre-packed silver upright suitcase.

Her legs unravel and swing to hit the floor. She digs her index finger and thumb into her mouth to take out her dental retainer and place it in the blue plastic case on her night stand. Her feet scamper across the room to grab a worn pair of jeans and pink sweatshirt on the walk-in closet floor.

“This bitch thinks she can step in and ruin my life?! ” she screams. “Who the hell does she think she is?”

She ferociously grunts while stumbling to quickly get dressed.

As she walks from the bedroom, through the hall, to the small cottage’s front door; her angry foot thumps cause the fish residing in the narrow throughway to jostle around.

“I love him. I can’t lose him,” she thinks to herself. “When the hell did he get engaged?”

Her right hand reaches forward, turns the gold knob and …her feet are glued to the cherry wood floor.

“No,” she tells herself softly. 

Wells of water form under each eye as she closes the door and pivots back to her bedroom. The droplets scorch down her face while she slowly treads back to her bedroom. Her jeans followed by her sweatshirt are removed from her slim frame in a slothful manner when she reaches her bed. They lay inside-out on the floor near where she stands. Half dressed she plops on the bed face first while her wailing is muffled by the pillows surrounding her. 

“Bing, bong bing,”Her smart phone cheerfully chimes in the back pocket of her jeans on the hardwood floor.

The simultaneous vibrating  & ring make her pause and roll her body towards the music coming from her gadget. Her right arm dangles over the side of the bed and snatches the phone from the floor. The screen reads ‘Jonathan’ while continuing to scream and shake its alert in her hand. She stares at the screen, wipes a tear, and places the phone on the nearby nightstand.

Seconds later the chiming and shaking starts again.    

“Bing, bong, bing, bing, bong…” it attempts to tempt her.

…but it rings and rings…

Modern Day Cat Lady

Standing in her dimly lit bedroom, Wanda,  an average height creamy caramel toned dame with  straight raven colored hair admires herself in the mirror.  She’s wearing a navy blue lace camisole with matching boy-short panties.

Full grown male cats roam her bedroom while she flips her hair and makes sexy pout facial expressions before snapping photos of her reflection.

“You’re a freakin vixen… you gorgeous cat lady”  says Wanda’s twin from the mirror admiringly.

The camera light on her smart phone clicks as brightness bounces off the mirror. The twin vamps  flirtatiously marvel at each other.

“Spinsters are never this hot” she compliments back.

Dexter, one of the cats, leaps off the nightstand and rubs his head on her toned shin after he reaches the floor.  Wanda slowly arches her back as she leans forward at her waist to pat and rub her dark gray feline.

“I’m so happy to still have you in my life Dex” she grins.

“I.

Have.

Seven.

Cats,” she says delightedly while scanning the room and glancing at each 

A long pause stills the twins.

Wanda snaps out of it…

Standing, she  lifts her body at it’s highest with the balls of her feet and twirls one round on her big toes. She releases and lowers her slim-curvy frame in a ballerina’s graceful flow. Her twin stills, holds gaze, and watches aroused by the pleasurable sight.

Wanda pauses after her pirouette and seductively smirks back at her twin.

“You’re right. I’m a hot a$$ cat lady” she chuckles.

Her twin’s lips move from pursed tight to a reassuring smile and up-down nod.

“I’ve been called so many hurtful things as a woman: whore, slut, thot…never a a sexy single bachelorette,” she rolls her eyes while speaking to her reflection.

Her smile turns grim.

“I’m having so much fun…

no I’m nottttt!” she outbursts as water fills like wells in her lower eyelids.

Her twin rolls her dark eyes upward while crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“I have my cats!” she protests.

Wanda takes a deep breath in; causing her shoulders to rise followed by a loud sigh. Her twin does the same.

She grimaces with a slight giggle while her twin stares confused by Wanda’s lame humor.

“For the last 7 years I’ve brought a new guy to family gatherings.  He attends the Halloween party, Thanksgiving Dinner, and even the Christmas Eve & Christmas Day family vacation…”

Her half dressed body plops sideways on her bed angling so that she can still admire her coke-bottle figure.

She props her head up with her bent right arm then tucks her hair behind her left ear. Her eyes keep contact with her image in the gold framed mirror.

“…then, like clockwork, right before New Year’s day; my new suitor tells me he’s leaving me. I do everything to keep him. I cook. I clean. I give more affection. My visual pain won’t even convince him to stay, ” she whines.

The well underneath her right eye releases a steamy droplet down her cheek towards her jawline. A daze takes over her and she’s silent.

Leo, her ginger colored feline leaps on the California King sized bed and slowly saunters his way over to her causing her daze to end.

“Then I use my sultry craft to keep them from leaving me,” she smirks.

Her  left hand reaches towards the cat to caress his back. He collapses next to her indulging into her touch.

“…and now we’re all living happily ever after. Right boys?”

“MEEEEEOWWWWWWW,” the cats all wail in unison