When you miss her, it’s because it’s too late to say “I love you”

A dreary icy Saturday spotlights a bitter chill on a Suburban Cape Cod Cottage. The two-bedroom house homes a family that was once five – including a dog, but now holds four.
A 5’5” coily hazelnut haired girl lays face down on her twin sized bed. Her cheek lays flush on her lush white comforter. The opposite side of the room has a fully made day bed adorned with cushy pillows all around. On the contrary, it looks welcoming, but has a hint of cold unwelcoming air.
“I don’t miss my sister since she went away, ” Alyssa thinks to herself.
 Her mind continues to ponder…
I get time to be the only child now. It was annoying to always be compared to her.
“Alyssa you’re late getting ready for school again?!” my mom would say. “Why can’t you move faster or wake up earlier like your sister?” she’d scold.
It’s easy to not miss my sister. At night she’d giggle and smile on her phone at funny memes from her friends,
… and cute texts from her boyfriend. I’d lay in bed across the room watching her live- life – to- the- full-est while my phone felt cold and lonely with no one to even like one of my selfie posts.
I got 80 likes in one hour once, but it was a photo of both of us sisters. We had an adventurous day touring her new college campus that day. She introduced me as “Alyssa, her little sis,” I was proud of the title – especially since she finally stopped calling me her “baby sis”.
two person jumping on brown soil

Photo by Hakan Hu on Pexels.com

After that weekend touring her new school, I thought of how much I was going to miss her while she was away, but then  she “borrowed” my yoga mat, and didn’t put it back in its normal spot – leaving me to scramble at the last minute for my session. She thought it was funny that I was late to get my “Zen on” and laughed while driving me to my Yoga-Pilates class. I was angry. So, I went back to anticipating her time away at college in the fall.
By the end of summer, she was preparing for her new journey in life.
“Don’t forget to write!” I joked repeatedly while helping her pack.
“I’m excited for college, but…what are you going to do without me?” she somberly replied after my third jester.
“Oh…I’ll be FINE!” I enthusiastically exclaimed.
“…but who’s going to pick you up from school? Or help you with homework? Or look out for you?” She quizzed.
“oh…don’t you worry your pretty ole heart now…you git on outta here” I continued to jeer.
This week, my parents and I had Thanksgiving dinner. Her usual seat sat hollow and waiting for her goofy giggles, sarcastic smiles, and obnoxious chewing. Most college students are home this time of year with their families.  When I wished to be an only child, I didn’t wish for a drunk driver to take my big sister’s life. I do miss my sister.
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Trikk Queen

It’s been 5 months since I paid off my luxury condo with a view of the New York City skyline.

2 months ago, I sent my parents on a month long vacation to  Jamaica on my “lottery winnings”.

Last week, I hired a personal assistant who runs my errands, pays my bills, walks my dog, and sends slutty texts on my behalf to my lovers when I’m busy.

Before you assume that I’m a lazy pyramid scheme running, escort just know that I believe I have helped people control their substance abuse.

My rise to wealth started 3 years ago, as a prank. I decided to get my coworker/bestie, Nancy, high to loosen  her up at the company’s holiday party. After all the financial reports she organized and presented to our VPs; she deserved to have some fun.  So, after her small chat with her office crush turned sour I walked her to the restroom.  Awkward discomfort showed in her doe-like eyes. Hoping to ease the pain, I reached into my clutch with my index-finger and thumb to revel a tiny clear vial with a black cap filled with (pause) let’s call it a white powdery substance.

“I don’t know about this…”Nancy nodded.

Disregarding her comment I poured the substance onto the scoop part of my pinky finger nail. I could only base my actions on what I’ve seen on TV.

“Can I get in on that?”

A familiar voice requests from a distance about 3 stalls away.

Nancy tilts her head while extending her neck to see over my shoulder and I turn slightly to see where the  request is coming from.

I hesitated. “…get in on this?” I replied like an amateur.

The last stall door swung open revealing my director, Janis. Her sultry and intrigued eyes held gaze with me as her foot steps got louder when she came closer to us.

“I really need to get through this dull night” Janis said suavely when she reached our standing point of the bathroom.

I passed her the vial and she sprinkled a tiny hit onto the back of her left hand. We watched in awe as she brought her diamond dressed wrist closer to her face, held her right nostril closed with her right hand and vacuumed the dust up her left nostril.

“Ahhhhh” Janis sighed and fluttered her lashes ” Come have a drink with me before you girls leave”.

Janis checked her reflection, pinched her nose to grab the white excess and rubbed her fingers together until the powder disintegrated. Her slim figure swiftly glided out of the bathroom along with the taps of her four inch high pumps.

“Your turn” I gestured the vial at Nancy for her to give me her hand.

Reluctantly, she followed Janis’ same steps, but her attempt to be suave turned to uncontrollable  flinching and coughing.

“This better make me a rich bitch like Janis too” Nancy coughed.

I followed suit and couldn’t help to cough, flinch, and flicker my eyes as well. I was shocked by the sense of clarity my mind felt 10 minutes later. I couldn’t believe I cooked up a potion that had this effect.

Seeing it as a networking opportunity, we made our way to the corner of the bar Janis was standing at and chatting up one of the hottest guys from the office. My mental plan was to chat  and have a few shots with Janis before the night ended.

“…there you ladies are,” Janis smiled ” I was just telling Adam about how much fun you two ladies are.”

Without hesitation, “Would you ladies care to share?” Adam asked in a flirty charismatic tone.

The glisten in his eyes seduced my soul, but I played nonchalant.

I swung my hand forward “It’s so nice to meet you,” I smiled “I think I’ve seen you around before” We shook hands with the vial transferring from my hand to his. He grinned then walked away.

Nancy got the sense of courage she needed at the party. We effortlessly chatted up a few VPs and laughed about our night on the way home. I felt like a proud mom watching my girl passed out on my couch.

Next workday, my list of besties in the office had grown. Janis seemed to spread the word about me. VPs, Directors, and even the CEO knew my name not only because of my hard work in the office, but also for my overnight sensation of a side hustle. They assumed I worked for a man, but I was my own boss.

I had weekly private meetings with the CEO to discuss deliveries.

“Stella, your boss makes an amazing hit!” he  spoke in a low tone while shaking my hand “Last batch caused me to wake up not knowing where the f@#k I was” he chuckled.

People in the office hate me for my popularity. I, of course,  love the attention.

I’ve heard whispers from random coworkers as I walk by “…it’s like she’s got some kind of hold on them”.

Many don’t know why management plays favorites with me. It’s a simple formula: 3 parts baking soda, 1 part crushed baby aspirin. Harmless fun combined with legal substances. I’m not hurting anyone just fulfilling a demand.